Dear Wife, my favorite email chain! Please read!

Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......!!!!!!!!

========================================

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because I was trying to breathe!

The End ;)

Ugly People versus Pretty People

Hi y'all.
I've decided to come back to my blog and stop using Facebook for everything...
Yeah, I've been using Facebook to blog about my life but then the creators of FB changed the layout of Facebook and now I can't easily blog anymore.

So, now that you know where I've been all this time it's now time for me to talk about a topic that has been bugging me for the past hour.

Watching my MTV reality shows, a.k.a The Hills, there was this commercial where 2 young teen girls where talking about how bored they were in a bedroom and out of the closet came out a fairy god-mother looking woman. She was walking a white horse and she told the girls that they have a chance to win a trip to L.A and go shopping or something like that. Anyway, the god-mother woman was all dolled up with her hair done and makeup all in the right places and it made me think, what if she was an ugly witch-looking person? I bet the girls would've ran out of the room screaming for help. And it probably would've taken the ugly witch about 5 minutes to calm them down to listen to her message of winning a contest to L.A. Or she'd have to do something magical, in a awe-inspiring sense, to make the girls stay in the room and see if she had any other magical talents.

But you see, that's the thing. The girls would only stay to see if she had any other magical talents. And if the witch ran out of them, the girls would eventually get tired of seeing the ugly witch's face and leave. Sometimes people wait to see what ugly people have to offer before they decide if the ugly person is worthy of their attention.

I remember how in high school a nerdy guy would only have 3 card-trading/Star Wars-watching friends and the next grade he would be one of the cool guys in the popular group. Why? Sometimes it was because his parents just installed an inground pool and he had a party when the parents weren't there. Maybe he got the latest gadget before anyone else and he showed it to people. It could be a number of things. I'm just saying that it was because he had sometime first before people would give him a second look.

I'm not trying to bash people who groom themselves, but why should they get first pick? Why can't ugly people promote products off of T.V? Better yet, they should demote certain products! Grab a acne-faced teen, put her in a commercial telling everyone not to use a certain anti-acne product. Now wouldn't that be entertaining and controversial? Oh please. I think we can discuss other controversial matters.

Maya is only $30, get it now, seriously!

Dev-C++ 5 (currently beta)

Bloodshed Dev-C++ is a full-featured Integrated Development Environment (IDE) for the C/C++ programming language. It uses Mingw port of GCC (GNU Compiler Collection) as it's compiler. Dev-C++ can also be used in combination with Cygwin or any other GCC based compiler.

Features are :

- Support GCC-based compilers
- Integrated debugging (using GDB)
- Project Manager
- Customizable syntax highlighting editor
- Class Browser
- Code Completion
- Function listing
- Profiling support
- Quickly create Windows, console, static libraries and DLLs
- Support of templates for creating your own project types
- Makefile creation
- Edit and compile Resource files
- Tool Manager
- Print support
- Find and replace facilities
- CVS support

Source code : Delphi 6 Source code of Dev-C++ is available for free under the GNU General Public License (GPL)

Authors : Colin Laplace, Mike Berg, Hongli Lai : Development
Mingw compiler: Mumit Khan, Jan Jaap van der Heidjen, Colin Hendrix and GNU coders.

System : Windows 95/98/NT/2000/XP

Status : Free Software (under the GNU General Public License)

Size : 13.5 Mb

Downloads : Go to Download Page

Dev-C++ resources page (libraries, sources, updates...)

http://www.bloodshed.net/devcpp.html

A link that may help with issues that may come along with compiling:

http://forums.devshed.com/c-programming-42/source-file-not-compiled-409726.html

How to create tables:
http://uw714doc.sco.com/en/PostgresqlDoc/sql-createtable.html

C++ for Dummies FAQ
http://www.stephendavis.com/faq_cpp_4ed.html

I'M STILL A BEGINNER AT THIS. And that's why I'm listing all these links:

Samples for Bloodshed:
http://www.bloodshed.net/c/index.html

Developer Fusion's Articles + Tutorials:
http://www.developerfusion.co.uk/c/